Blog: Skewed Views & News

Expect evolutions

Do I have to spell it out?

Like it or not, eventually we all grow up. Even accidental adults like you. But when those watershed maturity moments hit you – and they will – don’t freak out.

So you’re pretty sure you now understand the difference between rotating your tires and balancing your tires. Some would call this progress. Die-hard accidental adults might consider it selling out. I simply call it inevitable. Don’t worry. A slight metamorphosis of maturity doesn’t mean you’ve become “one of them.” Chances are, your journey as a reluctant grownup will feature plenty of relapses, ensuring your membership in the accidental adulthood society is not in jeopardy of revocation anytime soon. Need evidence?

  • Once a week without fail, aren’t you still that well-intentioned but absent-minded homeowner who drags his garbage cans to the curb, walks back to the garage, gets into his vehicle, and backs out of the driveway smacking into the cans, having forgotten the previous thirty seconds of his life?
  • When you’re angry with your spouse, you’re still the guy who grabs his kids’ Speak & Spell toy keyboard and repeatedly presses the F and U buttons in rapid succession, aren’t you?
  • You still unplug most electrical cords by sharply yanking on them several feet away from the outlet, don’t you?
  • When a neighbor drives by while you’re watering the plants outside, you still lewdly wag the garden hose between your legs while waving to her, right?
  • And if you luck into snagging a particularly convenient parking space in a crowded lot, you usually still shout, “Rock star parking!” like you did in high school, right?

Thought so.

See, adulthood in and of itself is not to be feared, so long as growing old doesn’t mean growing up. And if you’re like me (and I know I am), then you’re not  in danger of completely growing up any time soon.