Blog: Skewed Views & News


Unhandy Man

Right off, left on.

When it comes to home improvements, accidental adults like me never measure up to real adults. Call me repair impaired. Or simply call me a fix-it failure. Just don’t call me a do-it-yourselfer. Because when things go to hell around the house and repairs are required, at best I’m a do-it-for-me kind of guy who’s craftiness and dexterity is a lot less like MacGyver and a lot more like MacGruber. To put it bluntly, home repairs usually make me feel like a tool.

Sure, I’ve had some marginal success crossing a few projects off the proverbial “Honey-Do” list. It’s just that in my house, the list is usually titled, “Honey-Don’t, Unless You Really Know What You’re Doing This Time.”

This weekend, I added yet another entry into my expanding Home Repair Hall of Shame. As I set out to replace the corroded burner on my neglected (by me) gas grill, I surprised myself at how quickly the installation proceeded. But when I made the seemingly proper connection to the propane tank and opened the tank valve, I heard and smelled leaking gas and immediately feared a bad seal. Calling my very adult neighbor for advice, he responded immediately with a series of diagnostic tests we could apply – none of which proved necessary as he soon realized the leaking gas was the result of both on/off dials set to the “On” position. So glad I panicked.

Does that fix-it foible feel familiar to you? If so, you’re in good company. So we’re not Bob Villa. But we’re also no fools. We’re accidental adults. And when it comes to projects that really matter (like replacing dead batteries in our beloved remote control), we know our stuff.

2 Comments to Unhandy Man

  1. The neighbor wife's Gravatar The neighbor wife
    April 13, 2010 at 11:31 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for the continous laughs Colin! I’ll have to say that neighbor wasn’t even going to share the funny story as a result of saving you from that Hall of Shame. Such a guy! However, he modesty said to me with a small crack of a smile, “Don’t repeat this…do you know what happened when I went over to Colin’s?”…I think it wouldn’t have been so kind if it were a woman’s response – the whole neighborhood would know by now!

  2. sexy ex- neighbor's Gravatar sexy ex- neighbor
    April 14, 2010 at 9:24 pm | Permalink

    I love how the sentences flow and the humor roll together to create a very funny (and quite real I can vouch) life of one amazing accidental adult!!!! i can’t wait to read more…..