Blog: Skewed Views & News

Lawn caring

Burned baby, burned.

For me, the adult activity of lawn care is merely a painful obligation, a neighborhood courtesy, if you will. And unfortunately, I live on a street where the real men care a hell of a lot more than I do about the appearance of their lawns. How can you tell? Long ago, most of my neighbors wisely retained professional lawn-care services to properly fertilize their yards. But like any accidental adult, I fought this assimilation for years. Instead, I’d go out there and kick and curse that fertilizer cart as I dragged it haphazardly across my lawn. I only relented and hired a lawn care pro after I accidentally burned a dozen jagged yellow stripes into my front lawn when the fertilizer spreader broke halfway through the job. For the better part of two months, I felt like the teenage son who ruined his daddy’s lawn. But, hey, at least the burn pattern didn’t spell out an obscene word. (Note to other accidental adults: repeatedly kicking a jammed fertilizer spreader does NOT ensure even application of the product.)

Chances are you’ve had your own experiences that scream “accidental adult in action.” Don’t be embarrassed. The real adult world is a frightening and confusing place for people like us. But don’t worry, you’re running with the right crowd.